When using defusion for our thought patterns, one skill discussed in the Happiness Trap by Russ Harris is exploring the purpose and workability of thoughts.
Let's take a look. Imagine you are at a party where you don't know many people, and you think "Did I really just say that? I'm such an awkward person." Before jumping to berating your performance or mishap, ask yourself if there is purpose to the thought, and if it works for you.
Purpose: Ask yourself what purpose the thoughts have? What are they trying to accomplish? Maybe these thoughts are there to encourage you to be socially accepted and liked, or to help you monitor when you potentially offend someone.
Workability: Do these types of thoughts work for you? Do these thoughts allow you to live a full and meaningful life? Or does it create a type of suffering for you? If the thought is workable, use it. If not, practice defusion.
Does the thought of being an awkward person help you to feel calmer and engaged, or does it make you feel more tense? If the thought makes you tense, then remind yourself you can create distance from these thoughts with defusion skills.
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