In ACT, we practice making room for uncomfortable feelings and thoughts and accept them as part of a normal human experience. Often, clients struggle with the concept of acceptance. The metaphor of the unwanted party guest to help clients allow room for discomfort.
Let's take a look at what this metaphor entails:
Imagine you are hosting a party. You have an unwanted party guest who shows up. You have some options for how to deal with the unwanted guest.
You can refuse to let them in, lock the doors, and make it clear they are unwelcome. But that will likely cause a scene and disrupt the fun party you have planned. Or, you can politely approach the guest and engage them in a conversation. Perhaps offer them a drink or snack to make them feel welcome. This will likely allow for a much less disruptive time and more fun overall.
Now consider your negative emotions are like the unwanted party guest. Let's use anxiety, for example. You have an upcoming meeting that is very important, and you are worried about presenting yourself assertively and confidently. You may notice unpleasant sensations in your body, such as tension in your chest, sweaty palms, heart racing, and difficulty taking a deep breath. Past strategies of trying to tame our thoughts or physical symptoms of anxiety are usually only effective for a short time.
When we practice allowing the anxiety to be present, we acknowledge it is there, note it is there for a reason (because we want to do a good job), and we have welcome it along for the ride. Then, we engage fully in the moment as best we can and do behaviors that are valued ways of behaving.
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