Dealing with Self-Criticism

Self-criticism refers to critically analyzing, evaluating, and judging one's thoughts, actions, or behaviors. It involves focusing on perceived flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings. This internal evaluation can sometimes be constructive for personal growth and improvement, but it can also lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt if done excessively or harshly (Fusaro, 2023).

Self-criticism can be created by factors like past failures, rejections, or being treated poorly by others. This can lead to a fear of future rejection and failure, and potentially to social isolation or avoidance of new or uncertain behaviors. A person with high self-criticism tends to have a sense of "not good enough" and a pattern of setting unrealistic expectations for themselves. This can lead to more self-criticism when those standards are not met. Additionally, comparing oneself to others can trigger feelings of inadequacy and self-criticism. Self-criticism tends to share lots of traits with hyper-perfectionism.

Here are some self-compassion focused strategies to assist with self-criticism:

• Use self-enquiry: Consider gently asking yourself what you can learn from your self-criticism when you have harsh thoughts towards yourself instead of getting down on yourself, giving up, or compulsively striving.

• Notice negative thoughts: Observe self-critical thoughts and practice acceptance and defusion skills without getting caught up in trying to change them. Recognize your critical thoughts as your mind's chatter, and if they're unhelpful, then let those thoughts come and go in their own time.

• Check in with your values & enlist support: Determine whether the critical way of behaving aligns with your values. Adjust your behavior to set boundaries and limits, ask for help, take a rest, or get support from a caring family member or friend.

• Establish realistic goals. Avoid setting excessively high expectations and take note of even small progress. Recognize that sometimes progress does not equal success, but making a well-concerted effort might be all that is needed. Understand that mistakes are part of learning new things and even happen when you are a pro.

Managing Doubt and Fear for High-Achievers and Perfectionists – Jorge Fusaro. https://jorgefusaro.com/managing-doubt-and-fear-for-high-achievers-and-perfectionists/